Alright, so I’m not actually in any
position to tell you any of this, since I am only just now (officially (whew)) halfway
done with my college career, which is scary as hell. But, I can tell you this;
what I’ve gotten out of my time here at Hanover so far has been enough to
change everything I knew before this point in my life. There’s a lot to learn
outside of the classroom. While maybe
not the most versed in what I’m doing with my life after I graduate, or where I’m
going, I know I’m getting somewhere, and that’s good enough for now
1.
Everything
can wait for a solid talk.
Everything. Homework, sleep,
food, you name it. Anything and everything can and should be put on hold when
you’re having a really good talk with someone. Now, this doesn’t have to be
some huge ordeal or someone really special. It could be the most casual
conversation with the most random person in the world, but man, can you learn
some things just by opening up your ears and opening up your mind and just
listening. And you’ll just know when it happens. That’s all there is to it.
Sometimes the most ordinary study break turns into an in depth conversation
about everything from subjectivity to the logistics of circles and someone will
say something that you just really need to hear at the time, something that
really puts things into perspective and resonates with you. Those unplanned
talks are always insightful if you’re paying attention and you won’t ever know
until after you’ve had them how important they are.
2. Real friends are necessary to have &
hard to come by.
I’m sure you’ve heard this recycled garbage all your life, and so had I. But
it really is true, as tired as that sounds. As someone recently reminded me, some
friends are meant to come and go throughout your life. The people who you used
to be close to become strangers and the people you never thought you would or
never even wanted to get to know become some of the best things in your life. If
you’re lucky like I’ve been, there will be some friends who, although you grow
distant with, will always be there for you at the end of the day. Yeah, remember
those people; they’re honest to God blessings.
I am a firm believer that people can change your life. Hopefully it will
be for the best and you will at least be able to look back at that stage of
your life and say you learned something from it and yada, yada, yada. But sometimes
people are just terrible. Not always and not always actually terrible, but you know. That’s why when you find people
you really connect with who have similarly questionable morals, and just the
right amount of gusto, you hold on to those suckers. They will color your life
in every aspect, I promise.
3. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
If you fail a test or eat dirt in front of everyone within a hundred foot
radius of you, you will live. This is a fact, scientifically proven. I lied
about the last part, but you catch my drift.
As a Grade A overthinker, I can tell you from a long line of experience
that it will get you nowhere. I preach it, but, honestly, it’s something I still
struggle with on a day to day basis. I overanalyze situations and stress over
the minutest things, and basically just become a clustered ball of frustrated worry.
There is a bigger picture. It’s difficult to see a lot of the time, but it’s
there, and damn, do you have to work at it to realize that. I’m not going to
tell you some BS about how what you worry about today will be a faint memory
tomorrow because as we all know, when things go down, it feels like it consumes
your whole world. I’m just reminding you that even when it feels overwhelming,
sometimes you just need to look outside the situation and remind yourself of
what is really important and at hand. What’s the worst that could knock you
down so hard you can’t stand back up? Not much, let me tell you. This particular
rule is easier said than done in every way, but I assure you, it’s doable.
4. People suck, adaptation is critical.
Rule of thumb: there will always be people you don’t like. For whatever
reason, there just will be. These people can be friends of friends, unfair
professors, group members for class projects, people you work with, etc... It’s not your job to like them; it’s your job to tolerate them. This entails
growing up a bit. These people that exist in college exist all around you in
the “real world.” Unfortunately, you must always be willing and flexible with
your patience tolerance. Every now and then, you can be dead center of such
academically sound surroundings, and feel like you’ve never met so many stupid
people before. But learning to deal with those you find difficult, those who
test you, those who strike every last nerve in your body, that will affect you drastically. You can waste a lot of time and
energy avoiding people like the plague, but to really measure up, be able to
have a civilized conversation with those you find most despicable. It will get
you further in life and make your time here easier.
5. Say yes.
Obviously I don’t need to tell you not to assist in murder or collapse
under dodgy peer pressure, but there are some hard to define fundamentals that
are key here. Try new things. They don’t bite. For the most part. Go to that
party you’re unsure about, accept that request to go on a spontaneous roadtrip,
sign up for that class you’re really interested in but don’t think you’re smart
enough for; embrace mysteries and break those pesky, restrictive shackles
holding you back. You never know where you’ll end up or what will happen, but that’s
what keeps things exciting. The most dangerous place to be stuck in is your
comfort zone.
6. Embrace the beauty of sweatpants while you
can.
I would tell you to “dress for success” or whatever, but you have your
whole life to do that. Unless you have a presentation or a job interview (or
you’re going out for the night and don’t wanna look like no scrub,) bask in the
glorious majesty that is being able to pull off that just-rolled-out-of-bed
look without anyone batting a goddamn eye. Soon enough you’ll have to live the
dreaded business-casual life so don’t take that sweatpants, leggings, or last
night’s makeup look for granted. These are your best friends. Okay, maybe not
the makeup.
7. Relationships ≠ Life
Yeah, I’m laughing at myself giving relationship advice just as hard as
you are.
I’m not saying serious relationships are something to be frowned upon;
and I’m not saying that you should sleep with everyone you meet. But keep in
mind, you are young. If you’re lucky enough to find who you’re going to be with
for the rest of your life while in college, good on you. It’s not rare. Don’t buy
into the whole, “single and ready to mingle” life everyone raves about if you’re
happy with what you have. But don’t let your relationship with your significant
other to grab a hold of the reigns to your life either. You are young and you are making decisions now that will directly affect your life later
on. Don’t let those decisions be based on someone else. Make choices that will
benefit you, within reason. It seems selfish, but it is a safe backup if all
hell breaks loose. If you’re meant to be with someone, sacrifices will be made,
it’s inevitable. But don’t let another person control your life, even if
unintentionally. Go after what you think will be in your best interest in the
long run. It’s one thing to be self-absorbed, but entirely different to be
self-aware.
8. Nap time is happy time.
Although we all protested naps with every fiber of our beings when we were
younger, now I’m sure we’d all give up our first born children for one. Maybe it’s
just me?
All-nighters become a way of life. Early mornings and late nights become
a lethal combination. If you ever get the chance, take a nap. It will make
everything better. If it doesn’t, at least it postpones everything for some peaceful
time being. Nap. This is your last forgivable time to do it. Need I say more?
9. Take time to look at the sky.
So this technically doesn’t apply to college exclusively. If you ask me,
this should be a priority for everyone, always.
If I could put on stern face and shake my finger in your face Uncle Sam
style, this would be the time. This is absolutely pertinent advice. Take a
minute or two every day to look up and be moved by the sky. Lie outside and
spend a night stargazing, sprawled out on the grass. Watch the sunset. Its colors
are different every day, and you will never see the same one twice. Lastly, for
the love of God, if you pull an all-nighter, go outside and watch the sunrise. Get
out of that dark room, unbury yourself from papers and notes, walk outside, get
some fresh air, and look at how beautiful the day you’re about to start is
shaping up to be. Find shapes in the clouds, marvel at the moon, and search for
shooting stars. Just let each moment wash over you. Like I said, this is
essential. Non-negotiable. Just do it.
10. Live it up.
You’re
young. You’re in college. Do you need another reason to get buck wild and do
stupid things? Of course, I should warn you. The key is the ability to balance
getting your act together before you graduate, but making time for fun. Go to
parties, go out to drinks with your friends, be ready for anything. This is the
time to start finding yourself. A huge part of that is finding and doing what
makes you happy. It all begins when you let your hair down. Don’t be afraid to
go a little crazy; it adds to the experience.
